Declare Saturday "Burn Newspaper Day"

My husband is just outraged that the media has given world-wide attention to Gainesville pastor Terry Jone's  bigotry by spreading his hateful message world-wide.

This is such a perfect example of how the media can effect and impact the emotions and thoughts of not just a country, but the entire world.

We wake up in the morning and read a headline and our thoughts turn to either hate or love, depending on what the media chooses to focus on.

In protest of this irresponsible journalism, my husband has declared Saturday "Burn a Newspaper Day"

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In memory of Lou Poulos

“What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.” Eleanor Powell

To the Poulos family,

I cannot admit that I knew Lou for a long time. All I can do is regret that I did not.

But I can say that I knew Lou well, because I felt the depth of his kindness and generosity.

When I was experiencing my own sadness from the loss of my mother, Lou stepped in and offered his generosity. It was no simple words of sympathy. No card or flowers. It was a tree. A magnificent, beautiful oak tree that he donated and planted in a public park to live and grow as a memorial to my mother.

The offer was so generous, that I didn’t know how to graciously accept it. I kept offering to pay him. I kept wondering what I should do in return.

“Don’t be silly,” I was told. “That’s just the way Lou is. He wants to do it.”

And so, Lou planted my mother’s tree. I called it her Giving Tree, because it reminded me of a children’s story I once read about a tree that was always willing to give. After my mother died, I realized that she was always teaching me lessons of kindness and love, up until the last days that we shared together.

And now, in my heart, that tree will always be Lou’s Giving Tree, as well. For even as I watched him put that tree into the ground, I knew that he was planting much more than a tree. He was already teaching me lessons about how generous and kind we all can be.

I am so sorry for the sense of loss that you all must be feeling. But I do have two thoughts that I hope will help you through this time of grief.

The first thought is that you all contributed to the kind of person that Lou was. He was fortunate to grow up in a loving family. And he was fortunate enough to learn from your love and grow into the kind of person that he was.

And the second thought is that you were all fortunate enough to grow up with him and learn from his love and grow into the kind of people that you are, too.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Betsy Franz

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My Mother's Giving Tree

It was probably around 1974 or 1975 that I first read the book, The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein. I worked in a public library back then, which to me was tantamount to making daily visits to one of the rooms of Heaven. I love books – both reading them and discussing them with others. It is a love that was instilled in me from an early age by a mother that taught us to read long before we learned to do much of anything else.

Although The Giving Tree is considered a children’s book, like many of Silverstein’s books, it has a powerful message for people of all ages. The message is about unconditional, lasting love and it is depicted through the relationship of a young boy and a tree.

I’m sure when I first discovered the book, I took it home to share it with my mother. She loved books as much as I did, and the message was one that I knew she would appreciate.

My mother, Ruth Lay Stabler, passed away on September 7, 2009. During the last ten years of her life, although her mind was slowly slipping away, she was still my constant giving tree. During those final years, I learned more about love and kindness and the power of laughter and importance of appreciating each moment of love than I have ever learned before. Like the tree in Silverstein’s book, she was my Giving Tree, teaching powerful lessons up until the end.

On October 13, 2009, Lou Poulos Landscaping of Malabar, Florida is very generously donating and planting a large oak in memory of my mother in Gleason Park in Indian Harbour Beach, Florida.

I wish that there were a way for me to encourage every person that sees that tree to read the book and appreciate its lessons. I wish I could just put a bench beneath the tree and always have the book there to encourage others to read it and absorb its wonderful story of lasting love. But of course, I can’t.

If you haven’t read The Giving Tree yet, I encourage you to do so. Why not check it out from your local library, and find a good tree to sit beneath and give it a read. I think it will make the tree very happy.

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The Comfort of Nature

My mother passed away early this morning after a slow but not entirely unfriendly relationship with Alzheimer's. Since I inherited my strong love of nature from my mother, it seemed appropriate for me to spend my day in nature today alone with my thoughts.

But nature had another plan and I was anything but alone.

When I first looked outside this morning, the garden was filled with butterflies! Swallowtails and zebra longwings were feasting on the flowers while white peacocks were basking in the dew covered grass. The air was filled with the joyful chittering of migrating birds. I saw many I recognized, including black and white warblers, worm eating warblers, male and female redstarts, prairie warblers, titmice and others. I saw both a male and a female ruby throated hummingbird even though I haven't seen either for months.

But the most exciting wonder that I experienced this morning involved a tiny baby turtle and a huge barred owl.

My husband was digging around the house and unearthed a baby turtle that was about as big as a half dollar. I think it was a box turtle but it was so small that it was hard to tell.

I wanted to move him away from where we might step on him so I walked a little ways into our woods and laid him on the ground. Almost immediately a huge barred owl swooped down and landed less than a foot away from us, presumably with his eye on the turtle. Startled, I waved my arm at him and he flew to an oak tree branch where he has been sitting ever since.

I moved the baby turtle to another location, and spent the rest of the day enjoying the birds, bees and butterflies and wonderful thoughts about a mother that gave me the greatest gift of all -- a deep love and appreciation for the wonders of nature.

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Let Your Love Flow!!

I don't have an IPod, but if I did, this song would be on it!

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The Religion of Laura Munson

Back in 1991, I wrote my own religion.

On a rainy afternoon, I sat down and cobbled together all of my beliefs and philosophies about life -- all of the wisdom I had gained from years of living and reading self-help books. I jokingly called it "The Religion of Betsyism". To this day, whenever my life gets a little off-track, I can re-read that ten page credo and get back on the path that is right for me.

I believe that everyone would benefit if they took the time to figure out and write down what they really believe in, and what principles help to guide their life. Most people never do.

I believe that Montana writer Laura Munson has, however. And I think that her personal religion has helped her through some very difficult times, including the huge stumbling block that she and her husband hit while travelling the road to happily-ever-after.

Munson recently had an essay in the New York Times about a snag that she and her husband ran into in their relationship. She received hundreds of comments about the article on her website and many of the people seemed to be asking her for some quick and pert answers to solve all of their own marital missteps. They wanted a quick fix. Marital repair made simple.

But Laura's responses make it clear that getting to a personal place of strong resolve takes practice. Here are her words from one of her latest blog posts called Drowning to the Self, dated August 22, 2009.

"A lot of people have asked me to let them in on how I achieved some level of inner chill, calm, harmony during my husband’s dis-affection. I wish I had a stock answer. I wish I could give it away free in the streets. But I can’t. It can be inspired by spiritual practice– praying, meditating, communing with nature, one’s sense of the Divine, being with animals– but the place where I felt the most centered and calm last summer and namely in that moment in that river…is more of a state of mind. Almost trance-like."

I believe that Laura has found her own place of strength - her own personal religion - which helps to get her through the tough times and the crises. She has found what works for her. And like any religion, her truth will undoubtedly contains elements that will help inspire many others.

I am one of many, many new Laura Munson fans who can't wait to read her new book, which is expected to be published in April of 2010.

Until then, I'll leave you with some words from my own personal philosophy, written on January 10th, 1991:

"I close wishing you all the love that you'll accept from life, all the peace that you can find, and all the adventure of defining (and finding) your own personal religion.

May God, Love and Peace (whatever they may be to you) guide your way."

~Betsy S. Franz

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Cat Teaches Bored Human to Play Catch

Look at this. My friend's cat taught him how to play fetch!

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